Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
