this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
