This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
