I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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