Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He did a backflip because drugs
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
