what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
