When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
