Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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