I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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