How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
