..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
