How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
