I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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