yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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