He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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