i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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