I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
