Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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