Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
