So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
