so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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