So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
