She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
time to smoke my breakfast
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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