on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
