Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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