just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
