Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
