You're completely useless in the revolution.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
