this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
