he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
