So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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