I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We got so high we made milksteak
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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