How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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