I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
