So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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