real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
