that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
