Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
