**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
