Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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