she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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