he thought i was a dude.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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