There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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