I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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