Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
