in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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