I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
