he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I smell stomach acid.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
