whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
