we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
